Retreat
…………as I bid adieu to 2021
Starting each day with ‘what can be served today?’ even if it meant a simple toast & egg for breakfast each morning, in addition to the morning chores of a home, helping Rajiv recoupe faster than normal – post his surgery, to taking a stock check at work, remembering the gentle souls who couldnt be given a proper farewell, the rushed cremations & how the little virus has been so deadly..
The 2 weeks quarantine that extended, oxygen levels created panic, a bowl of tablets on my bedside, unsettling sight of the smoke through the glass windows, *silently* taking the blame of rash selfish decisions from my family – the emotional & mental turmoil it caused me and everything that went unnoticed alongside, the birthday that didnt matter.. Disconnected from the world – yet too close technically..
Gulzar so rightly quotes ‘ yeh zindagi hai janaab, Ma nahi, jo hamesha pyaar degi’..
Let me hit the pause tab here!
There’s plenty on my plate to be grateful for – reconnecting with an old friend from the years, going nostalgic, ahad- the place where everything is love at first sight, a studio where friends unwind, the space that gave me the creativity & freedom to explore, to have been able to earn & share at my will, picking up brushes after 16 years to paint a feeling, abundance that flowed, seing Yuvraan turn seven, a happy family from whom I learn each day & the continued transformation within myself..
I hold my faith and write my wish list. I want to always remain grounded – to keep up the smile behind the facemask.. Continue to respect, *learn to reset – renew priorities now, & value my time henceforward*..
I wish to remember how the present quickly changes to past & how important it is to be ‘present’ every moment..
I look forward to 12 new months, to keep alive the lyrics : ”jo garhi ji lengein, wohi reh jaani hai.. mein na bhooloongi” that always echo in my gypsy heart, 365 chances that I shall dare to take & me time!
Life – I am ready. Wonder how many breaths do you have for me?!..
Bindu
December 2021
